The Obligatory Depressing Blog

Heh...I don't usually post depressing things anywhere, but everyone needs a good rant every so often. Besides, no one actually reads your blog, right? Well, here it goes, since no one will hear about it from my Facebook. :3 Those statuses will remain cheery.

College:

I've reached that point where I'm ready to throw all my textbooks, calculators, homework, and notebooks out the window and say, "SCREW IT ALL!" I have a calculus midterm on Thursday. I have no idea what's going on in that class. I have a chemistry midterm next week. I'm two weeks behind in that class. I have a paper due in History on Friday. I haven't paid any attention in there in weeks. I have the midterm for that class next week as well. I have a group project in World Lit. coming up, and I still need to read for that. Our group is meeting for the first time tomorrow. Luckily, band is starting to slow down. I dropped the TBS (the sorority I was joining) process. It was taking up a ridiculous amount of my time. We don't get any breaks this semester until Thanksgiving. Shoot me. v_v I just can't wait for this semester to end.

Personal:

Yeah...I can think of a few people who, if they decided to read what I'm about to write, would say something along the lines of, "Oh, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. You'll get over it." Well, they're right about the last part. I'll get over it...as soon as it's over. Heh...I guess it was the way I was raised, but I feel weird ranting about my relationship. My boyfriend lives 2000 miles away. This could just be the typical teenage response, but I really don't think my parents are taking me seriously. They seem to think I'm going through a phase... my question is WHY in God's name would I put myself through this for almost a year if it was just a phase? Believe me, I've thought about it. I've put some serious thought into it, and I refuse to give up. Yes, living that far apart is harder than Hell. I miss him like crazy, and it sucks that we can't even hang out. We can't go see a movie. We can't eat together. We don't get to see each other. We don't get to spend any time together... and this has been going on since May. I won't get to see him until January...and not even that is set in stone. It sucks. It's hard. 

...but he's totally worth it...

God:

Funny...I keep having these thoughts where I just wanna yell, "WHY, GOD?! Why would you put me through this? What's the point? Why do you have to make things so complicated?" And then I have these uncontrollable urges to dig into my Bible and learn more. God is amazing...intriguing...and I'm totally enjoying studying His Word. I'm not really sure what's going on in my head right now, but it's mixed. I get angry at God...then I remember that what He's given me is amazing, no matter how hard it gets for my feeble human self. He reminds me constantly that as long as I remember I'm human, and reach out for His help, He'll offer it. And come on...what can stop an omnipotent God? Even when I go through times like this, He lets me know that I'm not alone in it. He knows EXACTLY how I feel, EXACTLY what I'm going through, and He isn't going to make me do it myself. It's awesome. 

Okay, there's the rant. It actually feels pretty good to have gotten that off my chest. O_o Now, back to homework. And then lab in an hour. v_v

Chemistry, Oh How I Hate Thee.

So yeah, I've been working my butt off the past few days to get ready for a chem test and catch up in the class. I succeeded... I took the practice test, and had no problems. I was so ready, and I was confident. I don't have test anxiety, I was prepared, and I had all the things I needed for the test...

SO WHY WAS IT SO HARD!?! D: No seriously...that test was evil. I'm pretty sure that some of the stuff on there was 8 bazillion times harder than anything we did in class. >.< Freakin' chemistry department. On top of that, I had a lab RIGHT AFTER that because they decided to schedule tests that overlap with a lab they require me to take. It usually goes until 10pm... so they expect us, on test days, to be in lab until 11. It's lame.

So, I'm pretty sure I bombed that test. v_v The only thing that's reassuring is the fact that I did actually KNOW how to do a few...and I'm pretty sure I got those right. In fact, there are a few I KNOW I got right. So that's good.

Besides the chemistry rant...

THIS WEEKEND IS THE ALABAMA-ARKANSAS GAME. It's probably one of the biggest games of the season, so I'm pretty stoked. There are already students camping out outside the stadium...the game isn't until Saturday. Tickets on eBay were selling for over two thousand dollars. O_O Oh, the perks of being in band. I get in for free, and I have a seat reserved. :3

GO HOGS! BEAT 'BAMA!

College Football, North Little Rock, and Thievery.

So, this weekend, I drove up to Little Rock with the band for a football game. We had a blast. Walking around North Little Rock at night with a bunch of band kids is a good way to get the adrenaline flowing. North Little Rock is a scary place. XD We ran into a lot of drunk people. AND I got a delicious pickle in a bag from a gas station. Made. My. Day. After wandering around, we went back to the hotel and just hung out for awhile. Fun stuff, actually. I'm really getting to know people, and actually starting to make some friends. :) It's cool.

The next morning, we get up, and it's raining. Just like it always is when we go to Little Rock. Needless to say, we're pretty hopeful. I don't know about you, but we band kids don't like to wear three layers of wool in the heat. Just throwing that out there. However, the pattern in Little Rock didn't fail us, and the sun came out as soon as we got to the stadium. It was miserably hot. And humid. Even before we were in uniform, we were all drenched in sweat and dying. I don't know if you know this, but turf on a football field increases the temperature by about 15 degrees. It was gross.

After practice, we ate lunch/dinner...within three hours of each other... and sat in an air conditioned bus where I played Pokemon while waiting for the parade to start. Band is all about the waiting. We hurry to get ready, then we stand around for ages. So, we're all in uniform, we parade over to the field entrance, aaaaaand...we stand there. In the heat/humidity in full uniform. People actually felt sorry for us...it was hot.

Finally, the game started, and fortunately the director let us take off our jackets. Which is odd...a band director showing mercy. O_o

Yadda, yadda, yadda, Hog victory! :D So far, we've won both the games we've played. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

And then we drove home...got back to Fayetteville around 1:30am, and I was pretty happy to be in Fayetteville at night instead of Little Rock.

Boy, were my impressions switched. <.< I loaded my car, got in...and noticed the middle console between the front seats was open...and empty. So I searched around my car, and found out that only the stuff in the console was missing. My GPS was still there, some jumper cables, my textbooks, my insurance card...everything of value was still in there.

What was missing? A few burned/old CD's, a half-empty lighter, and a pocket knife so dull it won't cut through plastic. Way to go, Fayetteville... Don't get me wrong, I'm happy nothing worth anything got stolen. But really...if you're gonna break into someone's car, do it right. >.<

It's My Party...And it'll Rain if it Wants To

IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY! Gosh, I feel old. I know I'm only 19, but still...that's only one more year of being a teenager. Then I will have no more excuses for the way I act. Darn it.  I'm growing up. It's terrifying! D: I don't wanna grow up. I want to be able to freeload off my parents forever...which I guess I technically could, but that would make me some kind of loser. v_v

Anyway, I'm only able to write this entry because band  rehearsal got rained out. Happy birthday to me. ^_^ I was about to be all angry and stuff since he waited until the LAST MINUTE to cancel. People actually walked out to the field to find out. Oi... band directors. *eye roll*

And since it's raining, it gives me a good setting to write in. Rain is relaxing, I can't go outside, and distractions are minimal. Not to mention the sound is pretty relaxing. So, I'll get to write more of the first chapter in mah story. Exciting....apparently it's pretty interesting. At least that's what the few people who have read it said anyway. *shrug* All they read was the intro...hopefully they'll like the rest too. I'm writing it more for entertainment than anything.

So yeah...quick blog. I figured since it was my birthday, I should probably post something. XD Later.

Back to Writing

Well! I've been wanting to get back into writing...'cept I haven't had anything interesting to write about. And now I do! All thanks to an incredibly weird, vivid, sorta twisted dream I had this morning. It was...interesting. And all the characters and everything were already laid out. Sweet. My mind came up with a story line while I was sleeping! If that's not talent, I dunno what is. XD

No but seriously. I've already finished the first draft of the prologue. It's gonna get complicated and a bit creepy, but I think it will be fun to write. ^_^ Will I ever get it published? I doubt it, but I'm really determined to finish it, no matter how long it takes me. And being a college student with gobs of homework, on top of being in band, it might take me a little while.

Anyway, the story is about a 7-8 year old kid named Alex Pearson. Yeah, the name came in the dream that specific. He's pretty much left alone by his family, but his family honestly won't be in this much...well, not his biological family anyway. >:] Mother is another character of mine, and she is just flat out wacked. My gosh...she basically collects children and calls them her own. Her goal is to create the ultimate family, and Alex will be the last addition to the family if he so chooses.

It takes place in a world called "Munaca" that Alex gets to by some creepy  magical bus/train. I haven't decided which yet...I know, I know...sounds very Potter-Narnia-esque, right? Well, it's a little bit different. The bus becomes a major part of the story line toward the end of the first part. And something really creepy  happens on it.

Here's a link to my Deviant Art where I'm keeping track of all the drafts and stuff in case you wanna read:
http://skadaddle09.deviantart.com/

Blogging? Huh...

Blog, blog, blog!  Just about everyone I know has one… So! Here I was, sitting in my World Civilization class (which, by the way is the most boring class I’ve ever taken…ever) and I was trying to get my thoughts together. It’s been an incredibly busy week, and it’s only halfway through Wednesday. Oi…

That and there is a lot going on. I’ve decided that writing my thoughts out might actually help me put them in some kind of order in my head. Or not…seeing as my figurative filing cabinets have been smashed to bits with baseball bats by the “workers” in my head. No seriously. I’m a scatterbrain. It’s fun. I think that would help explain my easily amused-ness.

ANYWAY! Here it is. I’m actually gonna try to keep this one up. I tried the blogging thing once before when I was feeling all emo and depressed…that one didn’t take off. Probably because I did it out of dramatic desperation after a bad day.  So here’s my first blog entry:

Hi! I’m Faith…in case you didn’t already know that. I figure the whole “introduction entry” is kinda the norm, so I’ll tell you a little about me. I’m 18 (19 in a week!) and am in my second year at the University of Arkansas. Honestly, last year was a little rough for me both academically and socially. It just really wasn't a good year, but this year looks a whole lot better already and it’s only the second week. I’m actually joining the band sorority Tau Beta Sigma tonight. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking… “What?! SORORITY?! You heathen sinner!” Yeah, no. That’s what I always thought about sororities too. And yeah, some of them are like that, but Tau Beta Sigma is the band service sorority…which brings me to my next little tidbit.

I’m a band geek. Have been foooor…  geez like 9 years now. Holy cow. I play the alto sax and have been in marching bands, concert bands, jazz bands, and just about everything else you can tie to band. I’ve always told people that I really don’t know what I’d do with my time without band…and believe me, I would have a LOT more free time. Heck, it would probably be easier to find a job if I wasn’t in band.

Speaking of jobs, I want to be a nurse after I graduate…which means I should probably get my act together and get my grades up so I can get into nursing school. I hope to eventually be a CRNA (the dude that gives you medicine…aka anesthesia). To do that, I’d have to have OR or ER experience though…preferably OR in my case. I don’t wanna deal with whiney kids who scraped their knees. Not that I don’t love kids, I just wouldn’t be good at it. The kid would be crying and I, being the wonderful person I am, would just say, “Suck it up, you’re fine.” Which might get me in trouble.

Oh, and despite my gruff talk, I’m actually a pretty nice person. :3 I like people. And I love to hear myself talk, which is probably why this is so long.

Also, I’m a Christian. No…I’m not a HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE type Christian (though I do believe in the consequences of Hell). That being said, I’m not a fluffy feel good Christian either. I listen to metal, I watch rated-R movies, and I know what goes on in the world. I’m not sheltered, and I refuse to be sheltered. It’s good to know the kinds of things that happen. However, I also think it’s important to guard your heart against the things that go on in the world. It’s unnecessary to be afraid of the world, but that doesn’t mean I have to participate in everything that happens. I’m not a college partier; I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t haze…not cool. Heck, I’m not even much of a dancer, but that’s by personal choice rather than conviction. XD Anyway, I believe in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t care what kind of church you go to…your worship services can be strictly hymns, or the whole house could be rocking. If you’re worshiping the same Jesus, then it doesn’t really matter. Do your thing. I also think the whole division of denominations thing is kinda dumb and pointless. Get over your petty arguments… bickering amongst yourselves is doing absolutely nothing for the Kingdom of God. End rant.

So yeah…that’s me in a nutshell. Well, not really…there’s actually a little more to me than sarcasm, band, and school. Whiiiich…I’m sure you’ll figure out if I do actually manage to keep up this blog.

I need a life. v_v