College:
I've reached that point where I'm ready to throw all my textbooks, calculators, homework, and notebooks out the window and say, "SCREW IT ALL!" I have a calculus midterm on Thursday. I have no idea what's going on in that class. I have a chemistry midterm next week. I'm two weeks behind in that class. I have a paper due in History on Friday. I haven't paid any attention in there in weeks. I have the midterm for that class next week as well. I have a group project in World Lit. coming up, and I still need to read for that. Our group is meeting for the first time tomorrow. Luckily, band is starting to slow down. I dropped the TBS (the sorority I was joining) process. It was taking up a ridiculous amount of my time. We don't get any breaks this semester until Thanksgiving. Shoot me. v_v I just can't wait for this semester to end.
Personal:
Yeah...I can think of a few people who, if they decided to read what I'm about to write, would say something along the lines of, "Oh, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be. You'll get over it." Well, they're right about the last part. I'll get over it...as soon as it's over. Heh...I guess it was the way I was raised, but I feel weird ranting about my relationship. My boyfriend lives 2000 miles away. This could just be the typical teenage response, but I really don't think my parents are taking me seriously. They seem to think I'm going through a phase... my question is WHY in God's name would I put myself through this for almost a year if it was just a phase? Believe me, I've thought about it. I've put some serious thought into it, and I refuse to give up. Yes, living that far apart is harder than Hell. I miss him like crazy, and it sucks that we can't even hang out. We can't go see a movie. We can't eat together. We don't get to see each other. We don't get to spend any time together... and this has been going on since May. I won't get to see him until January...and not even that is set in stone. It sucks. It's hard.
...but he's totally worth it...
God:
Funny...I keep having these thoughts where I just wanna yell, "WHY, GOD?! Why would you put me through this? What's the point? Why do you have to make things so complicated?" And then I have these uncontrollable urges to dig into my Bible and learn more. God is amazing...intriguing...and I'm totally enjoying studying His Word. I'm not really sure what's going on in my head right now, but it's mixed. I get angry at God...then I remember that what He's given me is amazing, no matter how hard it gets for my feeble human self. He reminds me constantly that as long as I remember I'm human, and reach out for His help, He'll offer it. And come on...what can stop an omnipotent God? Even when I go through times like this, He lets me know that I'm not alone in it. He knows EXACTLY how I feel, EXACTLY what I'm going through, and He isn't going to make me do it myself. It's awesome.
Okay, there's the rant. It actually feels pretty good to have gotten that off my chest. O_o Now, back to homework. And then lab in an hour. v_v
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